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Talkin' Apollo 13 Blues

by Jed Potts

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lyrics

Once upon a time in the United States would unfold the story of three crewmates.
To go to the moon was their intention and what would speed things up would be an ear infection.
Al Shephard’s ear if you must know.
Meniere’s disease if you wanna split hairs…

Another problem for these spacefaring fellas would be a supposed case of German rubella.
Measles is the other name for this disease-y and it sure made NASA mighty uneasy because when you’re landing on the moon’s a lousy time to get sick so another Command Module Pilot they would have to pick.
Enter Jack Swigert.
C’mon rookie, park that thing.

When the day of the launch was finally here the skies ‘round the Cape were bright n’ clear.
EECOM? Go. GNC? Go. FIDO? Go. INCO? Go, flight.
It’s go for launch, light up that rocket but let’s all take a moment to stop and gawk at Lovell, Haise and Swigert on that Saturn 5 - it’s the moon or bust, boys, T-minus 5...4...3...2...1...Lift off! Ex Luna Scientia! Head for the hills, boys! Next stop Fra Mauro Highlands...

A short while later they were well on their way and without being too cocky it was probably safe to say a successful moon landing was as good as in the bank until the boys in mission control asked the crew to stir-up a cryo tank.
There was a real loud bang and all hell broke loose and the thing flew around like a headless goose and just when they were getting it to stay in one place they looked out and saw they were venting something into space.
Turned out to be the oxyen.
Houston, we’ve had a problem.

At mission control it was clear within the hour the ship was losing air but also losing power. To get the crew home safe was the new objective of the mission but to turn the ship around was too risky a proposition.
They wouldn’t land on the moon but they’d still have to go around. Would the oxygen last ‘til they were back on the ground? To lose an American in space is out of the question. Get our boys home with time to spare. Failure is not an option.

So they powered-down the ship to save what was left and it got so cold it would freeze your breath. It would take three days to get home from the moon and problems that occurred along the way would include - but not be limited to - blocked C02 scrubbers, Fred Haise’s urine infection, and the possibility of splashdown in the middle of a typhoon.

A very cold three days later the most dangerous part was yet to come: re-entry was drawing near. Would the damaged spaceship’s heatshields hold or would it burn up in the atmosphere?

*Stand-by for communications black-out.

This radio silence should last three minutes but that had come and gone. Everybody in Houston held their breath as time dragged on and on…

Odyssey, this is Houston, do you copy?
Thirteen, this is Houston, do you copy?
Thirteen, this is Houston, do you copy?

Then out of the sky a most glorious sight: three parachutes did appear!
Roger that, Houston, this is Thirteen. We read you loud and clear.

Everyone rejoiced, cigars were smoked, what an adventure this had been.
And that’s the story of a successful failure,
the story of Apollo 13.

credits

released April 11, 2020
Written and performed by Jed Potts.
Engineered, mixed and mastered by Graeme Young at Chamber Studio, Edinburgh.
Artwork by Lentil.

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